This Week Only...

A Special Guest Appearance by Heber Green!!!

This week Gentri has handed over the blogging responsibility to me, Heber. I have a special Memorial Day story to share for this post, one that begs for an answer to the question of "What did happen to Heber Green on Memorial Day 2009?"

Well, since I have gotten a great deal of concerned e-mails wondering what happened (and some actually asking if I’m OK) I will tell you all the riveting story. When Gen and I got married we purchased a nice hammock just for the purpose of lounging around in on Memorial Day weekends. See the fantastic hammock here. However, a hammock with hammock stand is a little more than I would like to spend, especially considering that the hammock stand costs more then said hammock. See the expensive hammock stand here.

Luckily, Gen's Grandfather just happens to have a large pile of steel pipe and has been wanting to teach me how to weld. Within a few hours I had a very nice looking hammock stand with a few custom design features such as the ability to break it down and store it compactly in my garage for the winter. It was, in fact, cheaper and way cooler than that lousy Brookstone hammock stand. However, on the hammock stand’s maiden voyage I learned that one must turn the arc welder up high enough to actually weld the pipes together. So, as I was being rocked by a gentle breeze in my hammock my pride in doing it myself was suddenly knocked out of me with a “snap” and a “clunk” as one of my welded joints broke. Going from very proud and relaxed to lying on the ground having just been whacked in the head with a 2” steel pipe is no way to spend Memorial Day so I ended up here where I had to wait in the ER for over an hour because some idiot had crashed his motorcycle and wasn’t wearing a helmet and he got all the attention while some idiot who had been laying in a homemade hammock stand, who was also not wearing a helmet, was bleeding all over triage. Fortunately, I have a very hard head and only needed a handful of stitches. Unfortunately, for $120 I could be looking forward to going home tonight and lounging around in a nice hammock, but instead for $200 I have no hammock stand and a really bad haircut. Fortunately I am doing just fine. Unfortunately I cannot enjoy my lunch time bike rides with all my friends at work for a while. So please, don’t pull a Tim Taylor and just go buy some quality premade Chinese made goods so you can enjoy your weekend and not have to go to work looking like this. And please also be sure and wear a helmet, no matter how relaxing the activity might seem, you never know when some other idoit's welfare might depend on it.
-Heber

Post Script
While I was being stitched up in Tooele the doctor wanted to know what happened. When I finished telling him the story (He was rivited, just as you were, just now.) Gen said, "It is Heber's first Redneck accident!" the doctor paused and said, "Naw, he wasn't drunk."