The Good

I thrive as a college student.  It's my element.  I like the deadlines, the hard work and completing tasks.  I like to look back on how I've progressed and the concrete work I've completed.  And I like to hear the feedback on my work. 

Well, regular life just isn't like that.  There are no grades given out, no real conclusions on things, you just keep moving forward.  My work is tending to a home that needs to continually be cleaned and nurturing our family, a continuous job forever.  It's day in (and night too) and day out exhausting hard work.  It's doing the same things over and over and turning around to see that that the milk has spilled all over the floor.  There really isn't anyone to pat me on the back and tell me if I'm doing a good job or not. 

I've spent much of the last week thinking about goals and about what I'd like to see in the future.  I kind of feel swamped with so many things I want to do but never actually being able to do them.  There's a list a mile long that I never get it done (who am I kidding, there's no list anymore, I have no expectation that it could ever get done).  I'm always thinking of what I'm not doing, or comparing myself to other moms or thinking what I should be doing (you know, like exercise). 

As I was doing this, the thought occurred to me, I need to look at what I've done.  Ah ha moment right there.

I need to take a small moment and see all the good that's happened here.  Most of it is quiet, unmeasured things that have been done over and over.  When I thought about it, there were so many good things that I had accomplished.

Now, I'm not writing this to pat myself on the back and say, "look at me."  I'm saying that I spend so much of my life being frustrated by what is left undone and all those things I'd like to do that I miss what I've done.  I mean, those chicken lettuce wraps at dinner last night were the best I have ever made!  Or what about the great book I found for Leo that he's been loving. What about the new toy organization, man that has made my life so much easier!

As the mom, there really isn't anybody to come in and say, "you've done good work here," except for me.  And you know, I need to hear it and think it.  So now, I'm taking a minute.  Maybe you should join me, what good have you done?

Amy's birthday way that makes me smile every time I walk past it.

That time that instead of pulling her off the fireplace, I waited to see how she would figure out how to get off of it.  And she did and was so proud.