Eleanor and Fear

It's been two weeks of swim lessons around here.  We have been watching Leo learn the fine art of bobbing in water and blowing water bubbles.  There was a distinct shift about the third day of class when it all got a little more serious.  It was time for the kids to put their faces in the water.  There have been scared little faces and tears almost every day since.  Leo doesn't really cry, he just doesn't do it.

I really can't blame him, I am not a water person.  I have never loved putting my face in the water, it's always been a bit of a fear for me. 


All these mornings of watching fear in action have me thinking about fear and what it means to face those fears.  I've been reading a book lately all about fear, "My Year With Eleanor."  It's about a girl who embarks on a year of doing things that scare her based on Eleanor Roosevelt's advice to "do one thing every day that scares you."  While I thought the book was so so, the author's voice was not my favorite, I did really enjoy learning more about Eleanor.  She was truly one who faced her fears and moved forward.

I try to push myself to do things that scare me but sometimes I don't.  I fall into ruts just like everybody else but I know that I'm happier when I'm pushing myself outside my comfort zone.  I meet new people, I go new places and embark on projects that I never would have if I'd let my fear stop me. 

I thought about so many of the things I've done in my life that have utterly scared me and I have almost always come out on the other side so thankful that I'd done it.  Back when I was in high school, I got it in my mind that I wanted to be a state officer for a club.  I remember filling out the application and then making preparations for the speeches and interviews I would have to undergo to be selected.  The night before it was all set to happen, I was so terrified and told my mom that I didn't want to do it.  The next morning, I went and I faced it.  The whole experience turned into a life changing experience for me.  I met people, traveled, presented and became a completely different person.  It gave me so much confidence and self assurance that carried me into my college years and shaped me into the person I am today.  

In the words of Eleanor, "The encouraging thing is that every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it you find you are freer than you were before....You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face."

"A great deal of fear is a result of just "not knowing."  We do not know what is involved in a new situation.  We do not know whether we can deal with it.  The sooner we learn what it entails, the sooner we can dissolve our fear."  This thought is so true for me.  When I finally dig in and get details, it all becomes a little less scary but it often takes a while for me to get in there.

I want to be afraid sometimes, I want to face that fear and do things I never thought possible.  "The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear, for newer and richer experience."