First Dates and Ice Cream

We went out for ice cream last night.  By itself, it was not a momentus event but we went in celebration of our first date.  Twelve years ago, Heber and I went out on our first date to an Aggie Basketball game.  It may have been the only game we ever went to together.  We were on a double date and went back for ice cream and games after the game.

That time seems like an entirely different life ago, and it was.  There has always been something special about Heber.  Even from that first date (when I thought he wasn't interested in me after all but really he was), I knew that he would be important in my life.   I'm happy that some things don't change with time. 

It was such a hard day at home that we almost didn't go.  It was one of those days that I completely lost it (I hate those days).  I want to imagine that I am the perfect mom that can handle anything with endless patience and love but some days I am not and the magic of motherhood is lost.  We are in so many transitions right now with Leo giving up naps, a round of immunizations and teething that has caused our sweet baby to be so ornery and fussy.  And, I'm pretty sure this is about the 27th time this winter that we've been sick. 

Oh January, you get me every time.  Please end soon.

The Good

I thrive as a college student.  It's my element.  I like the deadlines, the hard work and completing tasks.  I like to look back on how I've progressed and the concrete work I've completed.  And I like to hear the feedback on my work. 

Well, regular life just isn't like that.  There are no grades given out, no real conclusions on things, you just keep moving forward.  My work is tending to a home that needs to continually be cleaned and nurturing our family, a continuous job forever.  It's day in (and night too) and day out exhausting hard work.  It's doing the same things over and over and turning around to see that that the milk has spilled all over the floor.  There really isn't anyone to pat me on the back and tell me if I'm doing a good job or not. 

I've spent much of the last week thinking about goals and about what I'd like to see in the future.  I kind of feel swamped with so many things I want to do but never actually being able to do them.  There's a list a mile long that I never get it done (who am I kidding, there's no list anymore, I have no expectation that it could ever get done).  I'm always thinking of what I'm not doing, or comparing myself to other moms or thinking what I should be doing (you know, like exercise). 

As I was doing this, the thought occurred to me, I need to look at what I've done.  Ah ha moment right there.

I need to take a small moment and see all the good that's happened here.  Most of it is quiet, unmeasured things that have been done over and over.  When I thought about it, there were so many good things that I had accomplished.

Now, I'm not writing this to pat myself on the back and say, "look at me."  I'm saying that I spend so much of my life being frustrated by what is left undone and all those things I'd like to do that I miss what I've done.  I mean, those chicken lettuce wraps at dinner last night were the best I have ever made!  Or what about the great book I found for Leo that he's been loving. What about the new toy organization, man that has made my life so much easier!

As the mom, there really isn't anybody to come in and say, "you've done good work here," except for me.  And you know, I need to hear it and think it.  So now, I'm taking a minute.  Maybe you should join me, what good have you done?

Amy's birthday way that makes me smile every time I walk past it.

That time that instead of pulling her off the fireplace, I waited to see how she would figure out how to get off of it.  And she did and was so proud.

Amy's First

 

 Amy turned one.  Our girl is one.  I can't believe that it has been a year already.  I have loved watching her grow, how she has started coming into her own.  This year has passed by in a blink and suddenly my 6 pound newborn has become a cruising, crawling one year old. 

 

She is such a joy in our lives.  I can see so much of her personality starting to come out, her quiet determination and curiosity.  I can't wait to see how she will change and come into herself.  Our little red haired girl is one!

It's been a joyful (and absolutely crazy) year.  She has taught me so much and changed me deeply.  Having a second child is so much different than having one and it has been a year of trying to figure out how to do it all. 

We have a special bond, Amy girl and I.  I am so thankful to be her mom, even when she didn't sleep for months. 

We threw a little party to celebrate her first year.  A party makes it feel like a special occasion.  We served waffles, eggs and coconut syrup.  Her cake was topped with raspberry frosting.  She tentatively liked it but didn't go too wild.

New Years

We celebrated the new year with a visit from some friends.  Janette and Sasha came up and we spent several days eating good food and seeing the sites. 

Having visitors in my home used to be so exhausting but now, I really like it.  Maybe it's because we actually have a comfortable space to host.  The other part is that it's interesting to see first hand how others deal with the wild toddler phase. 

We rang in the new year with fireworks that Leo deemed "awesome!"  We did our traditional burning of grievances in the fire.  It was a long list for me this year, I'm blaming it on all the emotions and stress.  We roasted steak dipped in rock salt (an old Logan tradition) and ate smores.  If you haven't ever eaten meat that way, boy are you missing out.

 

It was a good way to celebrate the new year.  There are some traditions around the world that say that what you are holding at the new year will indicate what the year will bring.  Some tuck extra money in the pocket in hopes of a fruitful year, others wear new clothing, or have good food in hand.  Me, I want good people around me in the coming year and so what better way to celebrate.  Good people, happy communities and a full life. 

I've learned a lot this year and can see how I've changed.  It was a year of stretching and expanding.  I hope the next year's grievance list is short!

As part of Heber's stocking, I got us tickets to go up to the top of the Washington Memorial.  It is one site that we have never seen but always wanted to.  As you know, we're big George Washington fans.  It was under renovation before and then we had an earthquake that shut it down for several years.  Well, the stars finally aligned and we were able to get in.   It's the tallest free standing rock memorial in the world.  We could see out in all directions for nearly 50 miles.  Just loved it. 

The view from the memorial

Leo checking out the view from the top.

What it's really like sometimes to sightsee with kids.  They really did awesome most of the time but hunger plus toddlers is no good.

One of the views.

   The rest of the visit was a blur.  Filled with traditional Lawrence fare (7 layer dip) and Ukranian food (Sasha is from Ukraine and New Years is a huge holiday in Ukraine, even bigger than Christmas).   It was so nice to visit with a good friend who's been there for me through so many things.  They are moving in the coming year and won't be as close anymore and I am going to miss seeing them several times a year. 

Well, here' s to a new year filled with good things.  Let's make 2015 the best ever!

Christmas

Christmas has come and gone. Another year passed and we are left cleaning up the wrapping paper.  I always hate to put all the toys and gifts away because that means that it's really over.   It was a different Christmas this year without extended family nearby but it was a happy one nonetheless. 

Christmas dress

Christmas Morning

 

The kids ready to come downstairs.

Leo's face at seeing the playhouse

 

  

 

 

 

What Amy did all day long, walk in and out of the little door.

Christmas Eve 2014

Christmas Eve is my most anticipated day of the year.  I love the magic of the holidays.  Truth be told though, I had a bit of a rough time getting in the Christmas spirit this year.  I think it was because it was different this year.  For the past 30 years, I've been doing the same thing on Christmas Eve.  I've been with the same people, eaten the same meals.  I know that this is not usually how life is and I know how lucky I was to grow up with those traditions. 

Now, we live thousands of miles away.  For the most part we have settled in here but I think that I will be homesick for Grantsville for the next 30 years on Christmas Eve, no matter how settled we are into our own traditions.  To stave off the wishing for home, we set out to make our first real holiday away a special one. 

We went into DC for brunch at Old Ebbit's Grill, a restaurant that has been open for the past 150 years.  We walked over to the National Christmas tree.

 

 That's the White House in the background.

Leo was way more enthralled with the train display around the trees then the tree itself.  I can't blame him though, it looks like a sad tree underneath the light mesh.

We then went over to the Botanical Gardens.  This tradition was born from the first time that I lived in DC.  As an intern, I used to walk over and spend time in the garden.  There are very few places in the world that make me feel so peaceful and calm.  In the hustle and hubub of the holiday season, it was just the feeling I needed.

They have an annual train display that we had yet to visit.  It was amazing.  Perhaps one of the coolest things I've seen this year.  They had a full room filled with tracks and weaving in and out of lighthouses built from plant parts.  You know how I feel about lighthouses (I love them!), it was just so beautiful.  Even in the crowd of people, I still really enjoyed it.  Leo loved watching the trains.

Isn't it gorgeous!

Cape Hatteras, a light house I have visited.

We had a beautiful Christmas Eve dinner, complete with Italian hot chocolate and put the kids to bed.  I told Leo that Santa was coming and that the presents would be there if he would fall asleep.  He immediately closed his eyes and went right to sleep.  That has NEVER happened.  Oh, Christmas miracles.

 

So, it was a special day.  I think we have some new traditions for the holidays, and that makes me happy.

The first picture of Amy standing up by herself.  She is so big!

 

Snow

We woke up to snow this morning.  There was a little part of me that was missing snow, especially around the holidays.  Leo, of course, was thrilled and ran around and shoveled and stamped.  Leo discovered his footprints and the sound snow makes beneath your feet.  So much of happiness is these small little moments. 

Amy is like me and not a huge fan of the snow but she stood up.  This is big news.  She has stood a time or two here and there but never very stable.  Out in the frozen snow, she stood.