Last summer, we were at Bear Lake with my sisters and their families. The lake glistened so blue and inviting and yet there I sat on the beach. My young kids, Leo who was five at the time and Amy, who was three, were out jumping on a trampoline in the lake and then jumping into the water with their dad. My husband took me out on the jetski but I couldn't enjoy it because the fear of the water filled me with dread. The kids fearlessly kayaked and I was frustrated. A full year later, I am finally signing up for lessons.
I have strung together excuses for a long time. I kept telling myself, oh I'm too sick from pregnancy. Heb's work is too stressful right now, I can't get away. I have a newborn and can't take the time. And on and on. It was something I said that I should do, that I needed to but never did. I knew exactly where to take lessons, how to sign up for them but just didn't do it. At the core, it wasn't any of the excuses that held me back, it was the fear.
We were at a local water park a couple of weeks ago and Leo went down the big slide. I stood there at the end watching him and something just snapped. It was there I decided that I was done watching and that I was finally going to do something about it. I was not going to miss out anymore.
I've never been one who enjoyed the water. As a child, I took lessons but never really caught on and spent much of my youth in the shallow end. My family was not a "water family" and so it wasn't such a big deal that I never mastered swimming.
Here I am, half way through the course and feeling like I am finally making progress. The pride of taking action has filled me all week and makes me want to do more. I don't want to hold back anymore. As the lessons have gone on, I feel the fear of it all less and less and wonder why I didn't do it sooner. Here's to taking the steps and facing the fears. I can finally say that I'm doing it and I'm so proud.
